Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!

Not only is this man absolutely gorgeous but he is the best Marluxia cosplayer I have ever seen ♥
I love you.

How to talk about somebody you dislike with great intensity.

Parental Advisory: Contains creative profanity in a language other than English.

Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!

Mi liria,

[insert name here] l'est un sijare. Njet, njet gokuchin. SIJARE. Vierdertine, cojeur-bidet, bura cojeur. Arenveken kosulka. (Desole, Illybrius, MADREveken kosulka.) Birjet quendertine. Sijare, madreveken lauko-coquet. Birjet'eone. Enervencognate kocho-kosulka. Tamsang peisang-decime cojeur. Tamyolen, tamcognate-- njet, doucognate-- zoocoquet dottircojeur-bidet. Lauschiestekopf. Schiestenalimenter.

HELP!!!

Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!

The truth: I do not want to be here. I love attending the classes and hearing the discussions presented-- until time becomes a constraint. Until I am in some way prevented from presenting my full view on a subject. Until the instructor decides he is tired of hearing what I have to say and forces some less voluntary person to volunteer an opinion. I do not want to go to the financial aid office, though Grandpa wants me to. I do not want to get involved in a dialog with somebody when I don't even know what my grandparents want me to ask, when I have no idea what I'm doing but will inevitably be forced to do more, when I don't even want what I'm asking for but will be grilled on it later. I am trapped.

What I want to do is sell my artwork, achieve money for my raw and untrained talent. I want to go into business for myself; I want to be famous yet governmentally anonymous. There are too many constraints placed upon things: needing a business license, for example, prevents me from opening shop. I despise paperwork-- I am very uncomfortable filling out forms-- and thus do not fill out job apps well. I can never be sure I'm answering things ACCURATELY. So I don'tahve a job and my grandparents are FORCING me to either go to school or move out. I don't have the money to move out: My grandparents have access to my bank account and they smother me that way too. I am not independent. I am not free. I do not want to be here AT ALL. But I can't go back because if I did I'd still be forced to follow somebody else's rules. I want to live on my own or with friends, have a job that's enjoyable but not demanding and doesn't rely on test scores or level of training. I know it can be done: Will SOMEBODY tell me how?!

New day. New drama.

Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!

Not that it's ever really different. News given sooner than the one who was "supposed" to tell actually tells... blame, finger-pointing, screaming at whoever's there. Language barriers, inability to understand anything that's not part of somebody's own little world, hypocrisy... Jumping and instinctively looking in the mirror perched atop my scanner to make sure nobody's in the doorway.... Yeah, I should be doing my homework now. Do I care? Shit's happening all around me and nobody can be bothered to tell anybody else until it's too late. Their people won't let our people help, etc.

Here's a tip:

Don't judge the many by the actions of the few!

So a couple people from a place fucked with you. Big fucking deal. That doesn't give you the right to be prejudiced against EVERYBODY from that place! So if you don't like the help that we are offering, go FUCK yourself because I am not going to sit there and try to defend my home and the people in it! We don't make you guys answer for being from wherever you're from, so SHUT THE FUCK UP AND KEEP AN OPEN FUCKING MIND! That is NOT too much to ask (Corri and Akuma!)

Now, Orion, as for you, fine, I shouldn't have called you a useless twit, but on the other hand, you shouldn't have BEEN a useless twit. When we want answers and it's past 10 at night, stop beating around the bush and give us the fucking answers. If vagueness was what we were LOOKING for, you answers would have most assuredly been more than adequate. Sorry to be so rough but goddamnit, that was IMPORTANT. Oh, and instead of blubbering and wringing your hands when Lee starts to pulse from frustration, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM THE INFORMATION HE WAS ASKING FOR ALL ALONG? IT SHOULDN'T HAVE TO FUCKING COME TO ALL OF THAT, AND UNLESS YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARD, WHICH I DON'T THINK YOU ARE, YOU SHOULD KNOW, UNDERSTAND, AND APPLY THE MEANING OF THE WORD "SPECIFIC." IT'S NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE!

Illybrius, yes, I married Drepanon. Yes, I know you hate him. Get over it or move out.

The rest of you, just in general: GET IT TOGETHER! I know you're all smarter than you've been acting, and no, I'm not the boss of you, but I hate to see wasted potential and I hate to see people so intelligent act like complete fucking retards, pardon my term. Akuma, you want Lee, then stop whimpering about it and take him. Orion, you want Lee to be happy, then don't make him start fucking CUTTING before you give him what he ASKS for. Pumpkin, stop listening to the girl's foibles and FIX her if you know how!

Have I made myself clear? No? Go back and read it again, because I am fucking sick and tired of repeating myself.

By the way, this is an open letter.

Helpless.

Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!

Worst thing in the world is to know you have potential and not be able to reach it. That is, if you care. Which I do. I know I have empathic power-- known since I was 15-- and it's not that I'm weak. I'm not. It's that I don't have any idea how to USE my power.

Funny AZ Tombstones

Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les
No more



This is an ode to Red Hogan and his gang
Their outlaw career went out with a bang
These five men have ceased to live
And no more grief to us will they give
The story of their life is too rotten to tell
Twas Sheriff Whyatt Earp who rung their knell.



This is the grave of Billy Grounds
He didn't weigh more'n ninety pounds
He was just a kid, as the story goes
He sometimes dressed in women's clothes
At least, we think this body's him
After the shootin' this face was dim
It's about his size and about his build
And if we ain't got Bill the devil will



Here is Andy, Alber, Hampton, and Houston too
And here is the boy who nobody knew
(He wasn't an outlaw but he did his best
He's sleeping here along with the rest)
Andy Cooper was a Blevins-- as few folks knew
They all were killers, a fact that's true
They are sleeping here in an outlaw's grave
But none can deny those boys were brave!
Sheriff Owens, who was once Andy's friend
Murdered them all and that was the end.



Here's where Louis, the fancy kid
Paid a just price for the crimes that he did
The last one he killed was Lulu the doll
She was a singer and she was his "moll"
He stole from the old and murdered the young
Then met his death at the muzzle of a gun



This is the spot where a gent named Genung
Paid with his life for his crimes and his fun
At last, the law, this jasper outwitted
He was hung for all the crimes he committed



Three fingered Black Jack!
Now he was a gent,
With murder in his eye and a soul hell-bent!
He met with death in a canyon pass
It took fifty men to get him at last



Slim satterlee met dead, here at this spot
He broke out of jail, but free he was NOT
Sheriff Jim Parks got Slim beat to the draw
And now Slim's through breaking the law



Four Texas train robbers are buried here
No one knows what their names were
Two Texas rangers and a posse from town
Came out one night and mowed them all down
They are buried here, just as they fell,
We hope their souls are not all in hell

Today I am happy.

Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!

Lee, dude, what's up with the Korean characters? Aaaanyway....

Today I got:

• My new glasses
• Within Temptation: Mother Earth- reissue
• Within Temptation: The Heart of Everything
• Two pairs of gloves (one just-past-wristlength slate-blue leather with a beige suede diamond design, a bit long in the pinky but otherwise alright; one chocolate brown semi-distressed leather, nearly elbow-length, perfect fit)
• Brokeback Mountain on DVD
• A silver holographic Frenzy journal with gray-edged pages
• More gum.

I know, I know, money doesn't buy happiness.... but it sure comes close sometimes. I've been wanting my very own Within Temptation CDs ever since I found out Marie messed up recording the copy of Mother Earth that she gave me two years ago. I've heard every song on The Heart of Everything (except one) on YouTube, and I've promptly decided which songs are fitting for which people. That's for another post. I'll let this sink in a bit first, maybe for a few hours. Ciao!

Oh, before I go: I may be swamped with schoolwork, but sometime soon I will MAKE time to watch Brokeback Mountain. Preferably when I can get Lee, Usagi, Gany, and Bruce in the same room together without china flying.

Dear Diary

Welcome to the Shrine, where it is not a crime to feel!

Mood: Apathetic

okay, now that's over with, I feel so useless. I was supposed to get calls from my friends, but what good am I if i'm always doing stupid inconsequential errands for my damnable family? I swear, now i can't do a damn thing anymore! stupid old people, always telling me to take care of their shit! This is life or death here, and their barking orders at me to put on my grandmother's shoes or to take the fucking dog for a walk! they have no legal say in my life, why won't they just realize that when I say I'm busy, I AM BUSY! I don't have time for their shit anymore! Leave me alone! I genuinely want to die right now! Help me!

It's psychodad! bum bum BUMMMM!

Welcome to the Shrine, where it is not a crime to feel!

okay, get ready for this one, my Dad acts all nice when he comes to pick me up for the weekend, right? he claps me on the shoulder, we joke around, we laugh, the usual deal. then
as soon as we get home, I try to go upstairs to put my stuff away, but he says to come down to say hi to everyone, I think, what the heck? what bad can happen?
then I get.....The Spanish Inquisition. No kidding. I say hi, and then My stepmom asks me why I left college. i told her I didn't want to talk about it, and also that I'd go next semester, and guess what? she follows me, telling me that I don't have any rights, that I'm not an adult or some shit like that. Dad joins in, and they go off on this high and mighty spiel of how everything is all my fault and they are doing their best to help me, all while they trap me in my room, and try to steal my things. oh, and they broke my headphones and threw my backpack across the room. where the fuck do they get off with their delusions? and they say I'm the crazy one? I try to get some sleep later, and the stepmom wakes me up and tells me to clean the bathroom, and that I'm the only one who doesn't do anything around the house. that's not true at all. I've had to break off several of my things to go help dad in the backyard or the front yard. I also vacuum and lift things that they are too lazy to. just the last time I was over there, I practically singlehandedly cleaned up their garage. but I digress...I'm getting tired, as it is late. later!

-Ghostyfriend