Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!
The truth: I do not want to be here. I love attending the classes and hearing the discussions presented-- until time becomes a constraint. Until I am in some way prevented from presenting my full view on a subject. Until the instructor decides he is tired of hearing what I have to say and forces some less voluntary person to volunteer an opinion. I do not want to go to the financial aid office, though Grandpa wants me to. I do not want to get involved in a dialog with somebody when I don't even know what my grandparents want me to ask, when I have no idea what I'm doing but will inevitably be forced to do more, when I don't even want what I'm asking for but will be grilled on it later. I am trapped.
What I want to do is sell my artwork, achieve money for my raw and untrained talent. I want to go into business for myself; I want to be famous yet governmentally anonymous. There are too many constraints placed upon things: needing a business license, for example, prevents me from opening shop. I despise paperwork-- I am very uncomfortable filling out forms-- and thus do not fill out job apps well. I can never be sure I'm answering things ACCURATELY. So I don'tahve a job and my grandparents are FORCING me to either go to school or move out. I don't have the money to move out: My grandparents have access to my bank account and they smother me that way too. I am not independent. I am not free. I do not want to be here AT ALL. But I can't go back because if I did I'd still be forced to follow somebody else's rules. I want to live on my own or with friends, have a job that's enjoyable but not demanding and doesn't rely on test scores or level of training. I know it can be done: Will SOMEBODY tell me how?!
The truth: I do not want to be here. I love attending the classes and hearing the discussions presented-- until time becomes a constraint. Until I am in some way prevented from presenting my full view on a subject. Until the instructor decides he is tired of hearing what I have to say and forces some less voluntary person to volunteer an opinion. I do not want to go to the financial aid office, though Grandpa wants me to. I do not want to get involved in a dialog with somebody when I don't even know what my grandparents want me to ask, when I have no idea what I'm doing but will inevitably be forced to do more, when I don't even want what I'm asking for but will be grilled on it later. I am trapped.
What I want to do is sell my artwork, achieve money for my raw and untrained talent. I want to go into business for myself; I want to be famous yet governmentally anonymous. There are too many constraints placed upon things: needing a business license, for example, prevents me from opening shop. I despise paperwork-- I am very uncomfortable filling out forms-- and thus do not fill out job apps well. I can never be sure I'm answering things ACCURATELY. So I don'tahve a job and my grandparents are FORCING me to either go to school or move out. I don't have the money to move out: My grandparents have access to my bank account and they smother me that way too. I am not independent. I am not free. I do not want to be here AT ALL. But I can't go back because if I did I'd still be forced to follow somebody else's rules. I want to live on my own or with friends, have a job that's enjoyable but not demanding and doesn't rely on test scores or level of training. I know it can be done: Will SOMEBODY tell me how?!
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