How to talk about somebody you dislike with great intensity.

Parental Advisory: Contains creative profanity in a language other than English.

Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!

Mi liria,

[insert name here] l'est un sijare. Njet, njet gokuchin. SIJARE. Vierdertine, cojeur-bidet, bura cojeur. Arenveken kosulka. (Desole, Illybrius, MADREveken kosulka.) Birjet quendertine. Sijare, madreveken lauko-coquet. Birjet'eone. Enervencognate kocho-kosulka. Tamsang peisang-decime cojeur. Tamyolen, tamcognate-- njet, doucognate-- zoocoquet dottircojeur-bidet. Lauschiestekopf. Schiestenalimenter.

HELP!!!

Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!

The truth: I do not want to be here. I love attending the classes and hearing the discussions presented-- until time becomes a constraint. Until I am in some way prevented from presenting my full view on a subject. Until the instructor decides he is tired of hearing what I have to say and forces some less voluntary person to volunteer an opinion. I do not want to go to the financial aid office, though Grandpa wants me to. I do not want to get involved in a dialog with somebody when I don't even know what my grandparents want me to ask, when I have no idea what I'm doing but will inevitably be forced to do more, when I don't even want what I'm asking for but will be grilled on it later. I am trapped.

What I want to do is sell my artwork, achieve money for my raw and untrained talent. I want to go into business for myself; I want to be famous yet governmentally anonymous. There are too many constraints placed upon things: needing a business license, for example, prevents me from opening shop. I despise paperwork-- I am very uncomfortable filling out forms-- and thus do not fill out job apps well. I can never be sure I'm answering things ACCURATELY. So I don'tahve a job and my grandparents are FORCING me to either go to school or move out. I don't have the money to move out: My grandparents have access to my bank account and they smother me that way too. I am not independent. I am not free. I do not want to be here AT ALL. But I can't go back because if I did I'd still be forced to follow somebody else's rules. I want to live on my own or with friends, have a job that's enjoyable but not demanding and doesn't rely on test scores or level of training. I know it can be done: Will SOMEBODY tell me how?!

New day. New drama.

Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!

Not that it's ever really different. News given sooner than the one who was "supposed" to tell actually tells... blame, finger-pointing, screaming at whoever's there. Language barriers, inability to understand anything that's not part of somebody's own little world, hypocrisy... Jumping and instinctively looking in the mirror perched atop my scanner to make sure nobody's in the doorway.... Yeah, I should be doing my homework now. Do I care? Shit's happening all around me and nobody can be bothered to tell anybody else until it's too late. Their people won't let our people help, etc.

Here's a tip:

Don't judge the many by the actions of the few!

So a couple people from a place fucked with you. Big fucking deal. That doesn't give you the right to be prejudiced against EVERYBODY from that place! So if you don't like the help that we are offering, go FUCK yourself because I am not going to sit there and try to defend my home and the people in it! We don't make you guys answer for being from wherever you're from, so SHUT THE FUCK UP AND KEEP AN OPEN FUCKING MIND! That is NOT too much to ask (Corri and Akuma!)

Now, Orion, as for you, fine, I shouldn't have called you a useless twit, but on the other hand, you shouldn't have BEEN a useless twit. When we want answers and it's past 10 at night, stop beating around the bush and give us the fucking answers. If vagueness was what we were LOOKING for, you answers would have most assuredly been more than adequate. Sorry to be so rough but goddamnit, that was IMPORTANT. Oh, and instead of blubbering and wringing your hands when Lee starts to pulse from frustration, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM THE INFORMATION HE WAS ASKING FOR ALL ALONG? IT SHOULDN'T HAVE TO FUCKING COME TO ALL OF THAT, AND UNLESS YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARD, WHICH I DON'T THINK YOU ARE, YOU SHOULD KNOW, UNDERSTAND, AND APPLY THE MEANING OF THE WORD "SPECIFIC." IT'S NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE!

Illybrius, yes, I married Drepanon. Yes, I know you hate him. Get over it or move out.

The rest of you, just in general: GET IT TOGETHER! I know you're all smarter than you've been acting, and no, I'm not the boss of you, but I hate to see wasted potential and I hate to see people so intelligent act like complete fucking retards, pardon my term. Akuma, you want Lee, then stop whimpering about it and take him. Orion, you want Lee to be happy, then don't make him start fucking CUTTING before you give him what he ASKS for. Pumpkin, stop listening to the girl's foibles and FIX her if you know how!

Have I made myself clear? No? Go back and read it again, because I am fucking sick and tired of repeating myself.

By the way, this is an open letter.

Helpless.

Welcome to the Shrine of 조금 구렁, where it is not a crime to feel!

Worst thing in the world is to know you have potential and not be able to reach it. That is, if you care. Which I do. I know I have empathic power-- known since I was 15-- and it's not that I'm weak. I'm not. It's that I don't have any idea how to USE my power.